Planning a wedding is exciting, but it can also be overwhelming. Just when you think you have one thing under control, you’ve got to figure out something else. Between venues, music, invitations, and food, it can feel like there’s a never-ending list of things to do.

And, all of it costs a lot of money.

The planning itself, the cost, and deciding who to invite can all add up quickly to cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

Getting married is a pivotal life event, and while it’s normal to experience some stress during planning, it’s not okay to let your worries and anxiety overshadow the whole thing. Maintaining your mental health every day can make the process easier, and allow you to actually enjoy the experience, rather than dreading it.

So, what can you do to avoid anxiety during wedding planning? How can you prioritize your mental health so you can find enjoyment in the preparation process?

Set Realistic Expectations

One of the reasons wedding planning can become so stressful is that many people start thinking about their guests, more than themselves. While you want everyone to enjoy themselves, at the end of the day your wedding needs to be reflective of what you want.

That’s why it’s so important to set realistic expectations for the day. Don’t stretch yourself too thin financially. Don’t play music you don’t enjoy. Most importantly, don’t create situations that will cause you or your partner to feel uncomfortable. For example, if one of you struggles with social anxiety, having a big wedding with hundreds of people could feel like a nightmare. Prioritize your mental health and consider a small wedding or an elopement. Taking that pressure off yourself can make a huge difference in your stress levels.

Instead of setting unrealistic expectations, work on establishing healthy goals. You’ll feel better about the process as you reach each one, and more motivated to continue planning at your own pace.

Give Yourself Space and Time

From the moment you pop the question or say “yes”, your mind will probably want to go into full-blown wedding mode. But, unless there’s something incredibly pressing forcing your hand, there are no rules that say you have to get married within a few months or even a year.

Research has shown that most couples spend anywhere from 200 to 500 hours planning their wedding. If you try to cram that into just a few months, you’re going to feel more pressure and stress, fueling your anxiety every step of the way.

Giving yourself more time to plan the wedding is a great way to reduce anxiety from the start. But, this could also be a good stage of life to boost your time management skills by:

• Setting limits
• Prioritizing what you want to do first
• Taking breaks
• Organizing tasks and deadlines
• Starting things early

Once you set a date for the wedding, everything you plan will have to be set within a certain timeline. Don’t force things to happen faster than they need to, and remember you’re in control.

Make Self-Care a Priority

Self-care isn’t selfish. When you’re going through a stressful experience, it should be a priority. As the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You won’t be able to put the time, effort, and energy into wedding planning if you’re exhausted and anxious about it.

Don’t wait until a week before the wedding to start pampering yourself with manicures and spa visits. While you don’t need to spend a lot of money or do anything “luxurious” along the way, finding ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine will make a big difference in how you feel. Try to incorporate some of the following into your everyday routine:

• Exercising
• Socializing with friends
• Unplugging from your digital devices
• Meditating or practicing mindfulness
• Cooking healthy meals

Establishing a good sleep routine can also make a big difference in how you feel. It’s easy to tire out quickly when you’re planning a wedding on top of everything else you have going on. Instead of reaching for that extra cup of coffee every afternoon, prioritize your sleep to increase your energy. Try to go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning. While getting enough sleep might not seem like a form of self-care, not getting enough sleep can lead to a variety of physical and mental health issues.

The last thing you want is for your wedding to turn into something stressful and overwhelming. Remember that you’re planning the start of a lifelong commitment, and it should be something that makes you want to celebrate. When you take a step back, prioritize your mental health, and plan the wedding you want rather than the one everyone else is expecting, you’ll be more motivated, less anxious, and more excited about your big day.