Interior design is a great way to discover new things about yourself and your spouse. You can learn so much from the style choices your husband or wife makes and the way you work together.

But, for some reason, interior designing as a couple has picked up a negative association. Just about every 90s sit-com featured an episode when couples fell out over paint choices or a sofa that just wouldn’t fit (“Pivot!”).

In reality, creating a home that suits your relationship is a sure-fire way to strengthen your marriage. There might be a few bumps along the way, but designing the space you share with each other in mind will result in a home that feels “right” for you both.

So, here are a few tips to help strengthen your relationship by creating a home together.

Communicate First

Before you start painting walls or purchasing pillows, you absolutely must speak with your spouse and ensure that you’re on the same page. As excited as you might be about creating a home together, your partner might have other ideas about the way you decorate your home together. It seems trivial, but even small purchases like mirrors and lighting should be agreed upon lest you overstep boundaries with your partner.

This is particularly important if you’ve recently moved in with your spouse. You may not realize it, but that odd tiling or garish wallpaper might evoke strong memories for your partner, so proceed with care before you start making changes. That said, communicating with care doesn’t mean you have to abide by everything they say — you just need to speak openly and put each other’s feelings first when making design choices.

If you’re struggling to communicate with your spouse, try focusing the conversation on “the feeling of home”. When you’re at home, you should feel like you’re safe and that you can move through your space effortlessly. The atmosphere should also suit you, and you should feel a sense of pride when friends visit. If this isn’t the case, you can be honest with your husband or wife, as this will help them understand your desire to choose a new style and redecorate your home.

Pick Out a Style

Perhaps the best part of creating a home together is the planning. Scrolling through Pinterest and discovering a new home improvement blog are great ways to spend time and can help you discover new styles like Hygge, bohemian, and farmhouse.

Picking out a style is also a great way to learn more about your partner if you’re newlywed or haven’t been together for a lengthy period. Pay special attention to the way your partner describes their style preferences, and make a mental note of high points for them.

Settling on a style together really is also the first step toward making a house into a home together. Plan larger purchases like couches together to ensure you both feel comfortable and resonate with the style of your home. You can also personalize your overall space with small touches themed around your hobbies and lifestyle. For example, if your spouse plays music, consider mounting their instrument on a wall and giving them a dedicated space to practice.

If you’re both a little nervous to get started or are working on a tighter budget, limit your focus and try to make more affordable changes first. You might, for example, decide to repaint rooms before embarking on major renovations. Choose the right paint by picking a color that works well with your current lighting and matches the overall “feel” that you’re going for. Starting with a less expensive option, like painting, is a great way to quickly change the overall atmosphere of your family home without breaking the budget.

When selecting furniture to match your chosen style, don’t overlook the smaller details like a small bedside table for your bedroom. A small bedside table not only adds functionality by providing a space for lamps, books, or personal items, but it also enhances the overall aesthetic of your room. Choosing a piece that aligns with your preferred style—whether minimalist, rustic, or modern—helps tie the design elements together, making your space feel more cohesive and personalized.

If You Clash . . .

Creating a home together should be an overwhelmingly positive experience. That said, not every moment is going to be perfectly harmonious, and disagreements can be seen as productive rather than disastrous. If you do clash, just remind yourself that, although you don’t have to agree on every element of design, you should be fully committed to treating one another with kindness and respect.

Work through stylistic differences by taking a step back and breaking from your current activity. You don’t have to settle on paint tones or lighting this very minute, and a short break might give you both a chance to think clearly. If tempers are being tested, consider having a little refreshment break — it’s hard to stay mad at each other when you’re drinking tea and eating a treat.

Conclusion

Creating a home together with your spouse is a great way to strengthen your relationship and learn more about one another. You can discover so much about your partner from their stylistic choices and can grow together by discovering new styles and learning new home-renovation techniques.