Wedding planning can be an exciting time, but it’s also stressful. In fact, it’s so stressful that there are a lot of stereotypes associated with it about frantic brides and unhappy parents or in-laws. The truth is that while there’s bound to be some stress associated with wedding planning, simply because you want it to be a special day for everyone, it doesn’t have to be unpleasant. You have the capacity to enjoy the process from which cake flavor you want, to how to prepare for your honeymoon, it does not have to drain you emotionally. With the points below in mind, you can help ensure that not just the day itself, but the experience of planning is positive.

Keep Your Perspective

This may be the most important tip of all. Of course, you want the day to be perfect. It might feel like one of the most important of your life. However, the wedding itself is not the marriage, which is far more important. Not only that, but having your family and friends around you and savoring every moment is more important than having the perfect photos or videos afterwards. It can feel overwhelming when you are trying to juggle all the moving parts of wedding planning, but if you can remember that it’s ultimately just a way to make sure people you care about are able to celebrate a special day with you, it may take some of the pressure off.

Review Your Budget

Before you start doing any planning, it can be helpful to at least have some idea of whether you are looking at something more like 500 people at a fancy venue or 50 people in your parents’ backyard. When you’re figuring out what you’re going to spend on the wedding, there are a couple of things you should take into account. One is how you want to split the money between your wedding and your honeymoon.

If you have a dream honeymoon planned and a big reception will mean scaling that down, which one is your priority? The other thing to consider is what you plan to do after you get married. For example, if you’re saving for a down payment on a home, you might decide you want to put more of your money toward that. Of course, there are other ways besides savings to pay for your wedding, such as taking out a personal loan from a private lender. This might allow you to take that dream honeymoon, buy your house and still have the big day that you envision.

Survey Your Stakeholders

What do you want? What does your spouse-to-be want? These are the two most important questions unless your parents or in-laws are paying for some or all of the wedding, and in that case, you’ll need to weigh their wishes as well. Of course, you want everyone to be happy and have a good time, but it might not be possible to please everyone, so it will be important to get your priorities in order and decide who it’s most important to please. Having a tactful but honest conversation with the people who are most involved can help you make this decision. You’ll know what things are truly important to everyone and which things they aren’t concerned about.