Back in my teens, I used to fantasize about the perfect wedding. I would imagine the whole thing: a December date with fresh powdery snow covering the ground. I’d arrive in a horsedrawn sleigh like a Russian princess, wearing a fluffier version of Audrey Hepburn’s Givenchy gown from Sabrina. Leonardo DiCaprio would be waiting for me at the altar, and after a beautiful ceremony, we’d be on our way to a honeymoon in Hawaii.

But as it turns out, planning a wedding takes considerably more work than imagining fairytale scenarios. I was reminded of this last year while helping my friend Christina prepare for her big day.

As we pored over the romantic details of her engagement, we started to touch the subject of the organization. As we did a simple Google search on “how to plan a wedding,” we quickly realized neither of us had any idea where to start. Christina wanted to be actively involved in all the details, so she decided not to hire a wedding planner, but, instead, to employ the help of her closest friends.

The tools

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 Because she was the first in our group of friends to walk down the aisle, we all started gathering anything that could be of help on this journey. I take particular pride in having found something called a Moleskine Wedding Journal. This nifty notebook was the perfect place where Christina could jot down all her thoughts and wishes regarding the big day. It offers great tools that would be of help in choosing the venue, putting together a list of guests along with the seating chart, as well as finding caterers, florists, and musicians.

We also created a group chat where we could easily communicate and share ideas regarding every aspect of the ceremony. In the end, though, this became more of a place to share inspiration (and vent out on more than a few occasions), while the majority of our productive communication moved on to Asana, in true entrepreneurial style.

The budget, date, and venue

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Seeing that Chris and her fiancee Matt were paying for everything themselves, the first important decision they had to make was determining a budget. This ensured that there were no unexpected costs as the date drew near, and I imagine that having some clear guidelines on how much they were willing to spend saved them a lot of stress.

Once they knew how much they were working with, it was time to pick a date and choose a venue. As Matt’s family is from New York, they decided on a beautiful rooftop venue in Tribeca that was perfect for the (approximately) 200 guests they wanted to invite. Having booked just over 12 months in advance, they had enough time to confirm the date with important guests and officials.

Booking services

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 What followed next was a good few months of looking for the best suppliers. In addition to finding a great caterer and choosing a cake (which I was luckily a part of, and which was definitely my favorite part of the whole process), Christina also booked the florist and musicians.

This is where the group of friends helped the most through taking care of accommodation and transport for the bride and groom, as well as the guests who were flying in from out of town. We also had a great time visiting a few wedding dress salons, where, I must admit, we made the bride try on dozens of dresses, just so we could marvel at how beautiful they all were.

As we got closer to the ceremony, we found that the bride and groom had considerably more decisions to make, including their honeymoon, rings, as well as setting up their wedding registry. What we could do to help here was to send out the invitations and give them a few suggestions regarding the reception playlist. Other than that, the brunt of the work was on them. Despite the excitement, planning a wedding can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to fall into some common wedding planning mistakes. One of the biggest challenges is managing the guest list, as things can quickly spiral out of control if not handled early. Additionally, sticking to a realistic budget is essential to avoid unnecessary stress and last-minute panic.

Outfitting the wedding party is another big one. There’s bridesmaids and groomsmen and father/mother of the bride/groom. Special touches like flower girl dresses and if you have a pup, the puppy tux.

The big date was approaching

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 About two months before Chris and Matt’s wedding, it was time to make some final preparations. For us girls, it meant a lot of pampering, with facials, manicures, pedicures, trial hair, and make-up appointments, as well as the bachelorette party at a Riverhead vineyard. On the wedding day, what mattered most was that the bride and groom were able to enjoy their day.

On the whole, planning this event was a great adventure in itself. As Christina and Matt said their vows, I couldn’t help but feel proud (and a little bit overwhelmed) by their journey. Thankfully, when my own wedding comes around, I’ll have a much better idea of what it is exactly that I’m supposed to do!